A Podcast About Bad Movies
It’s the Jewish magical realism tale that almost made Elliott hate his own Judaism: The Cobbler. Meanwhile, Stuart suffers from cartoon eye degeneration, Dan would like you to know very much that he’s a wealthy murderer, and Elliott’s singing has started to bleed dangerously outside the letters section.
Is Seventh Son seventh fun? Perhaps, though we’re not sure what “seventh fun” means. Meanwhile, Elliott pitches us on FXXX, Stuart expresses his love for fantasy bullshit maps, and Dan feels terrible about mixing up En Vogue and TLC.
Will Cameron Crowe ever rebound from his Elizabethtown slump? Probably not with the even-worse Aloha. Meanwhile, Dan calls out famed painter Leonardo Da Vinci, Elliott can’t remember the rich Bazooka Joe cast of characters, and Stu engages in something that’s definitely a bit.
We’ve had a lot of great press recently, so we thought we’d offer new listeners a classic show as a good starting point.
It’s a super-sized, super-fun, super-technical-glitch-filled CONTEST WINNER SELECTION EPISODE! Tom Horstmann requested that we watch the 1986’s The Golden Child, AKA “Don’t worry about rewriting the screenplay; Eddie Murphy can improvise any action movie into a comedy!” Meanwhile Stuart uncovers the racist motives of the BK Kids Club, Elliott takes down beloved dead comedian Bill Hicks, and Dan advocates the Morvern style of menswear.
For this year’s Cagemas we honor both the kindly St. Nicholas Cage, and Star Wars by picking the Cage-Hayden Christiansen joint, Outcast. Meanwhile, Stuart does an ad for Clearasil, Elliott contributes his worst Popeye, and, yet again, Stu and Elliott interrupt Dan when he’s trying to do something nice for other people. Merry Cagemas.
On this episode we uncharacteristically talk sports, specifically futbol, as we watched the definitely-not-about-a-corrupt-organization FIFA film, United Passions. And who better to join us as we wade into these unfamiliar waters than sports expert and Flop House nemesis, David Kalan.
Remember when Chappie fever swept the country, with all those pet Chappies, and tickle-me-Chappies? Meanwhile, Elliott describes a literary-technique-based dystopian future, Stuart continues to explain the Internet, and Dan just checks out for a while. Like, he totally doesn’t talk for seven minutes or something. Sorry, it was a long week.
Think you’re too good for the Oxford comma, Men, Women & Children? WELL WE’RE TOO GOOD FOR YOU. Meanwhile Stu explains “X-Men nudity,” Dan makes a call for an annotated Flop House, and Elliott explains the music your kids’ kids are gonna love.
Every Shocktober must come, sadly, to an end, but not without our longest (and best?) episode of the month. Dan Macabre, Booart Skellington, and Elliott Killin’ are joined by Hellie Haglund to discuss “Ouija,” the movie that captures the thrill of moving a piece of wood across a board.
SHOCKTOBER continues with a special Halloween TREAT! As part of the MaxFun Great Switcheroo, Justin, Travis, Griffin, and Merle McElroy of The Adventure Zone have taken on Leprechaun: Origins. Meanwhile, if you want to hear the Original Peaches (plus guest star Zhubin Parang) you can find them playing D&D over at The Adventure Zone!
It’s the most magical time of the year! SHOCKTOBER! And this year we’re kicking off with the millenials-on-a-computer-screen shocker Unfriended. Meanwhile, Dan reads movie ad copy, Elliott talks Quidditch injuries,…
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Straight from Cannes to Lifetime (TM), it’s the Grace Kelly biopic Grace of Monaco. Meanwhile Elliott has a surprisingly deep well of Saved by the Bell knowledge, Dan speculates about Curly’s gold, and Stuart finds a new way to leave Dan out of things.
Take two faded stars, put them in an Aussie C-picture, and encourage them to improvise wildly, and what do you get? The oddly compelling Drive Hard. Meanwhile Elliott improves various movies by adding a little vitamin C(age), Dan reveals what the H.P. in H.P. Lovecraft stands for, and Stuart almost gets Billy Joel lyrics right.
Some of the top bits and tangents from the first 75 episodes, suggested by fans.
In this episode, Jordan Morris of terrific MaxFun sister podcast stops by to co-host, a move he immediately regretted when we watched Strange Magic. Meanwhile, Dan explains the proper way to drink beer, Stuart evinces his disdain for improv, and Jordan displays his surprisingly deep knowledge of Three Ninjas.
Will the guys who liked Speed Racer also enjoy the Wachowski sibling’s most recent critical flop, Jupiter Ascending? Meanwhile Elliott debuts his new bumper sticker, Dan boringly digresses about The Three Investigators, and Stuart explains why, when incarcerating someone, you should really take their rocket boots.
Hoo boy does Johnny Depp certainly have a mustache in Mortdcai! Meanwhile Dan reads copy off a beer for some reason, Elliott invites George Lucas to stop by, and Stuart recommends a surprising film.
In the words of Homer Simpson, we’ve got a hankerin’ for some spankerin’, as we discuss 50 Shades of Grey. Meanwhile Stuart delivers a eulogy for the rappin’ granny, Elliott explains the laziness of British elocution, Dan reveals a porn tale from his past, and we include perhaps our best outtakes ever.
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