Will the guys who liked Speed Racer also enjoy the Wachowski siblings’ most recent critical flop, Jupiter Ascending? Meanwhile Elliott debuts his new bumper sticker, Dan boringly digresses about The Three Investigators, and Stuart explains why, when incarcerating someone, you should really take their rocket boots.
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Jupiter Ascending is Star Wars, compressed into one movie, with all connected tissue removed, filmed with the sensibility of the prequels.
“Why is this happening?”
“It has to for the ‘plot.'”
A description of every element of this movie. Has Jupiter never experienced bees that would have swarmed to her? Apparently. Was the sister just waiting to rejuvenate so that she could use it as a demonstration? Sure, why not?
Btw: Snakes on a Train — Actually a thing, courtesy of The Asylum.
Any chance you guys would review a Mockbuster by The Asylum’s and other hacks: Snakes on a Train, Transmorphers, I am Omega, Iron Hero and American Warship all proved to be hilarious if you consume enough tall glasses of water 😉
Intentionally bad movies aren’t out bag.
Come on Elliott… “Creep” the TLC song?? Not “Creep” the Radiohead song or at least “Creep” The Stone Temple Pilots song?
I nominate “The Giver”. It’s as if Jenny McCarthy wrote a dystopian YA film.
Thanks for reminding me of the Three Invesigators. Man, I loved those books!