A Podcast About Bad Movies
While Elliott’s making the transition into the relaxed SoCal lifestyle, we’re running some shows we have in the bank, like this live show from back in the winter, which may have been our best one yet. Meanwhile, Elliott reveals Hitchcock’s commercial work, Stuart wants us to know that he can do impressions too, and Dan accidentally says something untoward about his mom.
It’s an emotional moment. This is the last regular episode where all three peaches will be in Dan’s apartment recording together, in the same space. It’s also the ten year anniversary of this dumb podcast’s existence. So how did we celebrate it? By taking a look at what was supposedly the worst movie back when we were growing up, Ishtar. Elliott vastly improves “Meet Dave,” Dan somehow misses some nudity, and Stuart talks about a “tug in his butt,” whatever that means. We’re gonna miss this, guys.
We reach way back into the Flop House vault to bring you a live show from the winter, with Suicide Squad. The commercials are all-new, though. That’s good for something, right? Meanwhile, Elliott tries to sell us the character of the Joker, Stuart suggests the hell of being Boomarang, and Dan is accident prone.
It’s Cagemas in July, with the utterly forgotten USS Indianapolis: Men of Courage. Meanwhile, Stu teaches us how the cool kids say “Indianapolis,” Elliott makes fun of an adorable old veteran, and Dan invents the WWDND bracelet. Meanwhile, Owen Wilson shows up way too much.
It’s the movie that thinks autism is the secret to becoming a John Wick-style super-killer, The Accountant. Meanwhile Elliott details Randy Newman’s difficulty with dirty rhymes, Dan exhausts his knowledge…
We discuss the most accurate and hilarious movie about stand-up ever made, The Comedian. Meanwhile Dan starts off the show by being gross, Stuart reveals his favorite kind of turtle, and Elliott tells us about a few nursery rhyme comedians. Apologies for the continued low Stuart audio. We’re trying to get to the bottom of it.
We watch the dog grief porn A Dog’s Purpose. Meanwhile Dan gets to the bottom of a Lassie mystery, Stuart gives us a hall pass, and Elliott masturbates to rhymes. Apologies for the audio that makes it sound like Stuart is in the other room. We have no idea how that happened.
Just in time for Mother’s Day we discuss Mother’s Day. Let it never to be said that we don’t have our finger on the pulse of the zeitgeist. Meanwhile master…
We discuss the movie based on a not-really pun, Monster Trucks. Meanwhile Elliott talks about Love in an Elevator for waaay too long, Stu asks some Saved by the Bell questions, Dan’s penis habits are described at length, and we’re all sorry about the technical problems in this episode.
We discuss the movie made up entirely of video game cutscenes, Assassin’s Creed. Meanwhile Elliott does the classic “apple bit,” we hear another one of Stu’s goofs and bloops, and Dan’s sick voice is all gravely and such.
We discuss Will Smith’s spiritual sequel to Seven Pounds, Collateral Beauty. Meanwhile, Stu unveils his hot new nickname, Elliott tries to get Keira Knightly’s attention, and the less said about Dan in this episode, the better.
An extra-special bonus episode for the MaxFun Drive, where we’re joined by Mr. John Hodgman to talk about Steven Spielberg’s legendary flop 1941.
We discuss a movie from last year that flopped so badly that Elliott refuses to believe it exists: Max Steel. Meanwhile Dan sings a Carmen Sandiego duet, Stuart gives his fish-based SNL audition, and Elliott texts a lot.
Why is this movie not in Smalltember? Well, Stu said he wanted to watch Max Magician for his birthday, and we all said “fuck it.” Meanwhile Dan doesn’t know which corpse to punch, Elliott suggests an alternate course for Teen Wolf, and Stu has no pants.
We think this one broke Elliott, guys. We watched the only film Leonard Maltin walked out on: Zoolander 2. Meanwhile Dan totally nails a Mario impression, Stuart decides which Roger Rabbit weasel he is, and Elliott admits his fedora-wearing past.
We discuss The Last Witch Hunter. All other witch hunters presumably having been herded into the sea by the Red Bull. Meanwhile Meanwhile Elliott explains man-witches, Dan looks to an extreme James Bond to save a wounded nation, and Stuart is obsessed with billiards.
We have a homecoming to Katherine Heigl (a heiglcoming? no.) with a movie that truly no one remembered existed but Dan, Home Sweet Hell. Meanwhile Stuart gives us his SNL audition, Dan explains the secret origin of Georgian cuisine, and Elliott plays the game show that’s sweeping the nation.
This is a big one folks. Batman v. Superman v. The Flop House. Meanwhile Stuart makes it very clear this is not your daddy’s anything, Dan does a dead-on Katherine Hepburn, and Elliott reveals how Nicholas Cage rents softcore pornography.
Cagemas comes but once a year. Will Saint Nicholas Cage bring us something glorious or another lump of coal for our cinematic stockings? We discuss The Trust. Meanwhile, Stuart reveals his testicle-based library habits, Elliott explores Paul Verhoven’s love for California Dreams, and Dan solos on the hot sax.
It’s hard to overstate just how barely the Kirk Cameron “materialism-is-good” explainer Saving Christmas qualifies as a movie. Meanwhile, Stuart talks about his gogurt buying habits, Elliott dramatizes Frank Sinatra’s sexual habits, and Dan is genuinely disturbed by this movie’s theology.
Kevin Spacey as a cat sounds just purrrrfect (TM) for the Flop House, so we watched Nine Lives. Meanwhile, Stuart tells of his adventures with Kirsten Dunst, Dan suggests a terrible new method of shooting porn, and Elliott tells an offensive phone book joke.
Back to our non-Shocktober fare as we mourn election day with our Independence Day: Resurgence discussion. Meanwhile, Elliott gives the JD Power porn star awards, Stuart’s weenus is protected, and…
On this final SHOCKTOBER episode we discuss the noose-is-loose would-be chiller The Gallows. Meanwhile, Elliott somehow weasels his way out of doing a Muppet voice, Stuart reveals Dick Tracy’s bias against the disabled, and Dan somehow doesn’t let the movie’s plotting make his head explode.
Shocktober continues! On this episode we discuss the Flatliners-esque Lazarus Effect.
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