Episode #170
Transformers: Age of Extinction
We will never watch anything with nearly three hour bloat again, so enjoy the special snowflake that is us discussing the most recent installment of Bayhem, Transformers: Age of Extinction.…
Episodes
Episode #169
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2014) LIVE!
Recorded on 1/9/2015 in front of a live, sold out crowd in The Bell House in Gowanus, Brooklyn.
Episode #168
Rage
Merry Cagemas everyone! The store was all out of Left Behind (well… it hasn’t been released to video or streaming yet), so we got you a Rage. We hope you’re not too disappointed. Meanwhile Elliott reads the Looney Tunes dinner specials, Dan reveals the medical source of his word-slurring, and Stuart just can’t stop chewing.
Episode #167
From Justin to Kelly
Song of the autumn contest winner Jason MacIssac decreed that we should be subjected to legendary season-one-of-American-Idol ancillary flop From Justin to Kelly. Did he take it easy on us, or is there now a bounty on his head? Meanwhile Stuart introduces his innovative new restaurant concept, and Elliott murders Dan on air.
Episode #166
Pompeii
A returning Flop House director guides a cast of returning Flop House stars in an eruption of mediocrity named Pompeii. Meanwhile Stu asks a provocative question about Cenobites, Elliott reveals an early draft of a Robert Louis Stevenson classic, and Dan debuts his new hit character.
Episode #165
Robocop (2014)
We watched Robocop (2014). Detailed show notes canceled on account of Dan being sick with Mongolian death flu.
Episode #164
300: Rise of an Empire
Thus we enter November, the month known for having “No” theme. And, appropriately, we watched one of the most generic of modern action sequels, 300: Rise of an Empire. Meanwhile, Elliott lectures on Noid avoidance, Dan makes a public apology relating to one type of music and attacks another, and Stu makes an exciting announcement for enjoyers of comical books.
Episode #163
Dracula 3D
Shocktober continues/ends with Dario Argento totally forgetting everything he knew about filmmaking (and we don’t even like him that much) with Dracula 3D. Meanwhile, Dan reveals the alternate, director’s cut ending to Escape (The Pina Colada Song), Elliott out-pervs the pervazoid with his demands for more nudity, and Stuart once again astounds with his facility for accents.
Episode #162
The Quiet Ones
BOOOOOGENS! Welcome to the first episode of SHOCKTOBER 2014 (and the first episode officially under our new podcast network, MaxFun). And because we would never Halloween trick you, instead we’re treating you to a guest appearance by Hallie Haglund, sitting in with the OP’s, to discuss The Quiet Ones. Meanwhile, Elliott lists all the great MaxFun podcasts, Stuart once again shows his ignorance of all things Internet, and Hallie puts Dan in his place.
Episode #161
A Talking Cat!?!
Smalltember continues with perhaps the smallest movie we’ve ever covered, the bad movie new classic “A Talking Cat!?!” Meanwhile Stuart entertains the lizard representative of Harlem, Elliott gives helpful mnemonic devices for the major German directors, and Dan does some research into the pervy past of the movie’s creative team.
Episode #160
God’s Not Dead
The OP’s are all back in action, celebrating the all-NEW made-up holiday of “Smallvember.” First up, the Christsploitation film “God’s Not Dead” filled with the straw-manniest straw men outside of a county fair. Meanwhile Elliott and Detective Columbo disprove the flat Earth theory, Stuart reveals a surprising knowledge of the Christian rock genre, and Dan announces a new contest!
Episode #159
Walking with Dinosaurs
Thanks to his series of enraged tweets on the matter, we invited comedy writer and pop culture expert Kevin Maher on the show to discuss the enragingly anthropomorphized Walking with Dinosaurs. Meanwhile Dan pervazoids up the Crypt Keeper, Kevin unleashes his dad rage, and Stuart yet again shows his complex understanding of America’s youth.
Episode #158
Labor Day
No movie has sexualized pastry so much since American Pie, yet somehow Labor Day is even less erotic than Jason Biggs balls-deep in apple filling. Meanwhile Stuart does some brilliant voice work, Dan loves the versatility of DVDs, and Elliott regales the world with Tales of Ruck.
Episode #157
The Legend of Hercules
With audiences primed to be disappointed by a new Hercules movie in theaters, why not be like the Peaches and be disappointed by The Legend of Hercules in the comfort of your own home. Meanwhile Elliott tells us the secrets of the ancient Greek hamburger, Dan has uncanny recall for old Disney cartoons, and Stuart tells sad tales of British totty.
Episode #156
3 Days to Kill
Producer Luc Besson and director McG made a bet about the number of tones they could cram into 3 Days to Kill, and the audience lost. Meanwhile Elliott does his classic “2000 Year-Old Killer” routine, Dan gets more inappropriately sexual than ever before, Stu introduces the concept of a “neck baby,” and TVs Jessica Williams stops by, because why the heck not?
Episode #155
Last Vegas
We discuss Last Vegas, which is, of course, a documentary from the far future about the time the elderly Original Peaches and friend went to Las Vegas. Meanwhile Dan unveils his totally original, copyrighted concept, Elliott reveals how he does creep research, and Stu pulls out a letters surprise.
Episode #154
I, Frankenstein
Yes, Elliott, it should be called I, Frankenstein’s Monster, but that doesn’t change the fact that we watched I, Frankenstein. Meanwhile Elliott reveals the secret sex fetishes of Archie Comics characters, we learn Stuart’s nicknames, and Dan asks the big metaphysical questions.
Episode #153
G.I. Joe: Retaliation
Despite being one of the more nothing movies we’ve ever watched, we somehow crap out what we believe to be our longest episode with G.I. Joe: Retaliation. It’s a living. Meanwhile, Dan and Elliott explain what “G.I. Joe” means, and develop President Ziggy, and Stuart reveals he’s an evil land developer.
Episode #152
Easy Rider: The Ride Back
We discuss Easy Rider: The Ride Back, an object lesson in why you should never let a movie’s sequel rights lapse. Meanwhile Dan explains the Flop House fan caste system, Elliott puts the “bar” in barter, and Stuart knows nothing about robots.
Episode #151
Any Which Way You Can
1980 was a simpler time, when you could put Clint Eastwood together with an orangutan, not bother to come up with a story, and release it as a major motion picture
Episode #150
Grudge Match
We talk about Grudge Match, the movie that pretends DeNiro has a chance against steroidal Stallone. Meanwhile Dan discusses Kevin Hart’s need to do only Kevin-branded movies, Elliott uncovers Sean Connery’s strange belief he’s in every movie, and one of Stu’s relatives makes an unexpected appearance.
Episode #149
Paranoia
Han Solo vs. Commissioner Gordon sounds awesome, until you realize the star of Paranoia is actually a Hemsworth brother. And not the good one. Meanwhile Elliott doubles down on the size of Gary Oldman’s penis, Stuart disturbs us by talking about intimate times and Dan introduces the notion of a California Raisins fetish.
Episode #148
Gangster Squad
We return to a big, old-fashioned Hollywood flop with Gangster Squad, the movie that takes a bunch of good actors and a promising director and churns out a film thats absurd and deadly dull by turns. Meanwhile Elliott gives Hoagie Carmichael gift advice, Stuart comes out for cast awareness, and Dan is tired and really doesn’t keep up his end of the co-hosting duties. This episode brought to you by the letter “H.”
Episode #147
Devil’s Pass / Awards Floptacular
In which Dan makes the mistake of thinking that, because Renny Harlin directed Devil’s Pass, it would be crazy and weird, rather than draggy and significantly more boring than reading the Wikipedia page about the real Dyatlov Pass incident. Then, we forgo letters and recommendations to offer a condensed version of our usual Awards Floptacular, because no one (including us) really cared much about the Awards Floptacular anyway.