A Podcast About Bad Movies
Smalltember (Smallvember) begins with a return appearance by the Flop House’s favorite (insomuch as a terrible asshole can be a favorite) Canadian energy drink magnate-turned-filmmaker, Frank D’angelo, and his latest cinematic leavings, The Joke Thief. Meanwhile, Stuart reveals his love for all things Stu, Dan gives a few minor script notes, and Elliott’s Nicholas Cage has snakes on the brain.
Hoo boy, this was a tough one folks. How to navigate the Hollywoodization of a real-life trauma with a dash of weird gender politics? Answer — less funny than usual, as we discuss Welcome to Marwen. Meanwhile, Elliott completely misunderstands the etymology of “painstaking,” Dan details the many tones of Marwen, and Stuart bestows Dan with his Looney Tunes identity.
We’re taking a very brief summer break from new recording, and taking the opportunity to release one that we’ve been holding on to for too long — Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom. Recorded at Stuart and Dan’s very own alma mater, Earlham College, in Richmond, Indiana!
We’re joined by the wonderful Sharlene Wellington, owner or partner in many lovely Brooklyn bars (also, she’s married to Stu). She wanted to discuss the 1984 summer camp comedy Meatballs Part II, and as three middle-aged men who were raised on dumb 80’s shit, who were we to argue? Meanwhile, Sharlene brings her Jewish summer camp experience to the fore, Elliott waxes poetic about making first contact, Stuart promises some future Baby Boomer rants, and Dan takes us on a trip through Meatballs history
Straight from the glamorous and echoey Minneapolis airport-adjacent La Quinta inn, it’s all three of the peaches in the same room, chewing over the Taron Egerton, not-your-daddy’s-Robin Hood. Meanwhile Dan talks a surprising amount about the Scarlet Pimpernel, Elliott talks about why the Sheriff of Nottingham’s goons are a superstitious, cowardly lot, and Stuart is F. Murray Enthusiastic.
We were so delighted to have longtime Friend-and-Fan-of-Flop, Natalie Walker on the program! We were somewhat less delighted by the film she inexplicably chose, The Haunting of Sharon Tate. Life gives, and life takes. Meanwhile, Stuart hijacks the podcast to discuss the TV show “Younger,” Dan shows his shameful lack of knowledge about the Manson murders, and masterful singer Natalie is somehow delighted by Elliott’s caterwauling.
We took a break from live show prep in Portland to return to our beloved M. Night Shyamalan and the last film of his surprise trilogy, Glass. Meanwhile Stuart drags the Philly skyline, Dan points out the problem with exhaustive rule books, and Elliott takes a brave stand against sexist comics store clerks.
With John Wick 3 tearing up the theaters, we discuss this year’s OTHER Keanu Reeves movie, Replicas. Meanwhile Dan repeats an old adage about beans, Stuart can’t pronounce “Keanu,” and Elliott’s son really messes up our rhythm.
We discuss something that’s been on our want list for a while: the genre-hopping bonkers twist-em-up, Serenity. And to do so, we are joined by the delightful Jenny Jaffe, whose attachment to this film can surely be described as “healthy.” Meanwhile Stuart explains costume-care in the stripper industry, Elliott introduces his new hit character “Crawdaddy,” and Dan’s reaction to the film is a real twist ending!
Elliott, noted non Pot-head, talks about the Potterverse sequel, Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindlewald. Meanwhile Elliott talks Charles Dickens crossovers, Stuart almost causes his own brain to explode, saying something nice about Dan Fogler, and Dan is tricked into a lifelong commitment.
It’s been so long, we can’t even REMEMBER when we recorded this show on Tom Cruise’s The Mummy. But it’s from Seattle and it’s on tape, so here it is!
It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for — we discuss the fabled Castle Freak. And we don’t do it alone! We do it with noted B-movie aficionado Joe Bob Briggs who you can also see on Shudder’s “The Last Drive-In.” Meanwhile, Dan asks salient questions about Grimace’s anatomy, Elliott denies all of Dan’s best bits, and Stuart fulfills his destiny.
MAX FUN DRIVE part TWO! We talk about The Nutcracker and the Four Realms, which Elliott chose for some baffling reason. Meanwhile, Elliott explains Richard Gere’s Mothman issues, Stuart reveals the scariest number of ghosts, and Dan takes the show off-road to an abandoned farm.
It’s MAX FUN DRIVE time, everyone! That means we’re putting out an extra episode on a week we’d normally take off and drink pina coladas or something. Instead we watched the Jennifer Garner revenge fantasy Peppermint, and hoo boy is it racist! Meanwhile, Elliott reveals his Mandela effect defense attorney strategy, Stuart gets lost in his thoughts, and YOU’RE NOT DAN’S DAD, JESSE.
We continue to exploit our vault of unreleased live shows, with this discussion of The Dark Tower, with special additional guest co-host, Hallie Haglund, the star of the show. And for those who don’t dig live shows, good news! Since next week is Max Fun Drive, we’ll be releasing an EXTRA EPISODE during a week we’d normally be dark. Everyone wins!
By popular demand, we talk about all the glitz and glamor that is… OSCAR!
We reached into our archives, all the way back to 2017, to bring you this performance taped at the Now Hear This podcast festival. Elliott’s not here (something about it being “too far to fly across the whole country for an unpaid gig, waaah waaah waaaah), but we’ve replaced him with guest host Ronny Chieng of Crazy Rich Asians and The Daily Show with Trevor Noah. Did we hold onto this so long, just to wait until Ronny was a BIG MOVIE STAR? Perhaps!
We don’t usually editorialize on our own show, but… this is a good one, guys. The gang got together in a hotel room after our Madison, Wisconsin live show to discuss Life Itself, one of the most baffling, and most pleased with itself movies ever made, about nothing less than THE HUMAN CONDITION. Meanwhile, Stuart explains the secret history of the Zales shadow, Elliott reveals God’s secret message to us via olives, and Dan suggests you just cover yourself in gum.
It’s Jason Statham and a giant shark. Whaddaya need, a roadmap? We discuss The Meg. Meanwhile, Dan reveals a surprising science fact about Meg Ryan, Elliott reveals that Swamp Thing is the ideal male body, and Stuart’s feet have a surprising superpower.
This one topped the lists of the worst movies of 2018, and it was so bad Dan barely understood what the fuck was happening, which you can tell, based on how little he can bring himself to say. Luckily, Elliott makes up for it by never shutting up. We discuss Gotti. Meanwhile, Stuart explains what it’s like to play a game with Dan, Elliott starts a new podcast devoted to the human body’s holes, and as always, when it comes to letters, Dan is a consummate professional.
Can the magic of Cagemas overcome the most rote Nicholas Cage vehicle we’ve ever discussed, The Humanity Bureau? Meanwhile, Stuart reminisces about the Cage days of his youth, Dan writes a happy ending for some Foodfight! characters, and Elliott sets down some strict boundaries surrounding his son’s bath time.
We talk about the inexplicably star-studded comedy, The Bigfoot Who Saved Christmas. Excuse us, “Pottersville.” Meanwhile, Stuart brags about his back strength, Dan uncovers the world of Raising Cain conventions, and Elliott goes on his longest (most infuriating?) bit ever.
Why is Bruce Willis starring in an NRA recruitment video? Wait, this is a MOVIE? Are you sure? We talk about Death Wish. Meanwhile, Elliott writes the horror movie “Dr. Sleepypants,” we get insight into Stu’s endless Critters gifs, and Dan shows off his kaleidoscopic character work, during pie talk.
Remember that surprisingly well-defined contest Elliott spearheaded a few episodes back? Well the contest winner decided what we should watch, and it was Interview with the Vampire. Will we fall victim to its bloodsucking charms? Meanwhile, Elliott apologizes to goths, Stuart lists a few Ecks vs. Sever sequels, and Dan disputes the very premise of the movie.
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