Episode #240 – Sicilian Vampire

It’s Smalltember Small-Stars, with a return to Frank D’Angelo, the Canadian energy drink magnate and bad movie savant behind No Depo$it. This time we discuss his undead Italian saga, Sicilian Vampire. Meanwhile Stuart is on about millennials, Dan poses a salient point about bananas, and Elliott is bound and determined to go through this movie beat-by-beat.

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“Frank, I think we need to talk to you about this poster you ordered…”
“Whaaat, it’s poifect!”

Wikipedia page for Sicilian Vampire

Movies recommended in this episode

Last Embrace


Oct. 8 – The whole gang in Los Angeles, at the Regent Theater

Oct. 21 – The whole gang in Toronto, at the Royal Theater

Dec. 9 – The whole gang in San Francisco, at the Marines Memorial Theater

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September 16th, 2017



  1. Fake Name says:

    Sicilian Vampire has a score of 8,2 at IMDB. Higher than The Princess Bride, Rocky and Annie Hall.

  2. Vardulon says:

    I’ve made a low-bitrate version of the episode for people with data caps!

    You can find it here –

  3. Christoph says:

    For a second I was wondering why you guys would do a movie no one has ever heard of. Then I saw the cast.

  4. oscillator says:

    Guys, this movie has a 8,2 rating on IMDb. Granted, only 8500 votes but that’s still a lot. How is this possible? Did Frank D’Angelo pay a bunch of people to give it a 10??

    • Cuagau says:

      If you look at the user reviews, there are about 30 at the top that are all the same basic story. “I found this movie on Amazon/iTunes/some other distribution service. The reviews are all wrong. There’s an all star cast including luminary Frank D’Angelo.” They all give 8 or 9 stars, and have been marked helpful 670 times each. All the other real reviews (ranging from 1-4 stars) have fewer then 10 helpful marks.

  5. Katerade says:

    First, Dan I want to hear about your Season 3 twin peaks feelings. Was this new ending anymore settling? Second, at my job a scrotum was ripped open. I had to call for help and I described the scene as bloody out of pure assumption. I was quick corrected by the guy I called for help from that there wouldn’t be blood. I was driven to the site of the accident and there was no blood. I told my dad the story and he let me know from experience in Vietnam that there would be no blood with a split scrotum. Now one ripped off… Idk.

  6. Gerald Fnord says:

    Maybe these were supposed to be obvious, but

    0.) Daryl Hannah looks at the floor and hides her face because she is _deeply_ ashamed. I feel bad.

    1.) Frank D’Angelo had complete control yet made his screen character ‘a complete asshole’ because your and my idea of that is his idea of An Ideal Man, likely a combination of cultural differences and individual taste.

  7. Gerald Fnord says:

    …and his idea of an ideal movie is a combination of “The Godfather”, a slasher flick, porn, and a Little Rascals short—but he balked at including the porn, he’s a family man.

  8. Gerald Fnord says:

    No,you don’t understand the evils of Canadian Obamacare—E.R.s have to be set up in disused offices and staffed with bored incompetents.

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