A Podcast About Bad Movies
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Han Solo vs. Commissioner Gordon sounds awesome, until you realize the star of Paranoia is actually a Hemsworth brother. And not the good one. Meanwhile Elliott doubles down on the size of Gary Oldman’s penis, Stuart disturbs us by talking about intimate times and Dan introduces the notion of a California Raisins fetish.
We return to a big, old-fashioned Hollywood flop with Gangster Squad, the movie that takes a bunch of good actors and a promising director and churns out a film thats absurd and deadly dull by turns. Meanwhile Elliott gives Hoagie Carmichael gift advice, Stuart comes out for cast awareness, and Dan is tired and really doesn’t keep up his end of the co-hosting duties. This episode brought to you by the letter “H.”
In which Dan makes the mistake of thinking that, because Renny Harlin directed Devil’s Pass, it would be crazy and weird, rather than draggy and significantly more boring than reading the Wikipedia page about the real Dyatlov Pass incident. Then, we forgo letters and recommendations to offer a condensed version of our usual Awards Floptacular, because no one (including us) really cared much about the Awards Floptacular anyway.
Consider our debt to “He’s the Housecat (Arthur’s Theme)” music video contest winner Dan Costales paid in full! Was it worth it Dan? Was if worth the pain you caused? Making us watch the pre-Oscar Halle Berry racist stereotype comedy “B*A*P*S?” Meanwhile Elliott continually implies Martin Landau is a vampire, Stuart reveals how all males are sexually threatened by him, and Dan suggests that the Crypt Keeper should’ve come up with a better B*A*P*S twist.
We ease Elliott back into the Flop House groove with a movie right in our wheelhouse: the Men in Black/Ghostbusters-lite disaster R.I.P.D. Meanwhile Dan introduces the concept of ghost hats, Elliott uses the new recording space for its foley possibilities, Stu rails against shark-drummer racism, and the whole gang does their impeccable Boston accents.
Hawkey Holidays to all the little Flop House boys and girls. Your present is the movie-length chase scene Getaway. Meanwhile, Dan takes on the liberal media, Stuart gives one of his patented Flop House asides, and Elliott reminds us all of Dorf’s amazing performance in Don’t Look Now.
Hey, remember when we all used to celebrate Christmas? Last Ounce of Courage takes us back to that magical time. Meanwhile, Stu is upset at the way Wolverine treated his Christmas gift, Dan fails to have perspective about his knee, and Elliott reveals the Jesus/Ducktales crossover.
It’s the movie they tried to pretend M. Night Shyamalan had nothing to do with: After Earth. Meanwhile, Elliott introduces us to the Crypt Keeper’s brother, Stuart meets his Phantasm hero, and Dan just needs to explain a few things first.
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