All Elliott Kalan

Episode #226 – Max Steel

We discuss a movie from last year that flopped so badly that Elliott refuses to believe it exists: Max Steel. Meanwhile Dan sings a Carmen Sandiego duet, Stuart gives his fish-based SNL audition, and Elliott texts a lot.

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Episode #225 – Max Magician and the Legend of the Rings

Why is this movie not in Smalltember? Well, Stu said he wanted to watch Max Magician for his birthday, and we all said “fuck it.” Meanwhile Dan doesn’t know which corpse to punch, Elliott suggests an alternate course for Teen Wolf, and Stu has no pants.

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Episode #224 – Zoolander 2

We think this one broke Elliott, guys. We watched the only film Leonard Maltin walked out on: Zoolander 2. Meanwhile Dan totally nails a Mario impression, Stuart decides which Roger Rabbit weasel he is, and Elliott admits his fedora-wearing past.

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Episode #223 – The Last Witch Hunter

We discuss The Last Witch Hunter. All other witch hunters presumably having been herded into the sea by the Red Bull. Meanwhile Meanwhile Elliott explains man-witches, Dan looks to an extreme James Bond to save a wounded nation, and Stuart is obsessed with billiards.

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Episode #222 – Home Sweet Hell

We have a homecoming to Katherine Heigl (a heiglcoming? no.) with a movie that truly no one remembered existed but Dan, Home Sweet Hell. Meanwhile Stuart gives us his SNL audition, Dan explains the secret origin of Georgian cuisine, and Elliott plays the game show that’s sweeping the nation.

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Episode #221 – Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice

This is a big one folks. Batman v. Superman v. The Flop House. Meanwhile Stuart makes it very clear this is not your daddy’s anything, Dan does a dead-on Katherine Hepburn, and Elliott reveals how Nicholas Cage rents softcore pornography.

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Episode #220 – The Trust

Cagemas comes but once a year. Will Saint Nicholas Cage bring us something glorious or another lump of coal for our cinematic stockings? We discuss The Trust. Meanwhile, Stuart reveals his testicle-based library habits, Elliott explores Paul Verhoven’s love for California Dreams, and Dan solos on the hot sax.

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Episode 218 – Nine Lives

Kevin Spacey as a cat sounds just purrrrfect (TM) for the Flop House, so we watched Nine Lives. Meanwhile, Stuart tells of his adventures with Kirsten Dunst, Dan suggests a terrible new method of shooting porn, and Elliott tells an offensive phone book joke.

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