Episode 251 – Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

We watch one we were all honestly pretty excited about: Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets. Were we all as excited once we were done? Meanwhile Dan introduces a new Jeff Foxworthy routine, Elliott explains Nicholas Cage’s pursuit of Bernadette Peters, and ‘allo ‘allo? Oo’s back again, then, Stuart?

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Finally harnessing the raw star power of Dane DeHaan



















Wikipedia synopsis for Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets

Movies recommended in this episode

Mom and Dad
Now, Voyager

Tags: , , , , , ,

February 17th, 2018



  1. Darien Dukes says:

    I really think that this movie got a raw deal, I think that it’s better than the reviews lead the casual viewer to believe.But every year, good movies get panned by the critics.But most times the panned movies don’t have as big a budget as Valerian had.

  2. omaxem says:

    This is a Bad Movie. It looks great, that first scene is actually really touching ( even with the over-used David Bowie song ), but then it just gets boring ( an amazing feat, the scenery looks beatiful ), and predictable and weirdly misogynistic. It feels like a 90s movie made with today’s tech.
    Its also a problem when your CGI aliens have more charisma than your leads…

  3. Wildride says:

    There’s a saying: It’s easier for an ant to pass through the eye of a needle than for a person who died of gusher death to enter the kingdom of heaven. So, like, it’s way easier than a rich man, bit still can be tricky, depending on the age and species of ant. Oh, and the ant still gets stepped on after going through this needle eye, for some unexplained reason. Weird.

  4. Christoph says:

    This is the episode where they talk about the new season of Black Mirror, right? I agree that it’s kind of weak. I was hoping for a shout-out to “Kill the Deejay” though. That episode was very good. And I enjoyed realizing the male lead was Reese from Green Room. A role where I found him very annoying.

  5. Connor says:

    Went and watched the first 5 min of this movie on YouTube and it’s kind of fun but after that…

  6. Ben J says:

    For far more enjoyment when watching this film, just imagine Chris Pine playing Valerian rather than Emo DeHaan..

  7. Shane says:

    What’s the Alan Moore comic that Elliott references?

  8. ghek says:

    A lot of stuff is in the Valerian movie novelization…like Valerian’s mom was killed by the Boulan when he was five (vengence a la John Carter throne room slaughter is sweet)…other things you have to watch real close to figure out…Jolly was human trafficking for food (Boulan) and Bubble saved Valerian’s life by spilling his drink….all the chicks including Bubble just love Valerian…even his ship ai Alex gets jealous and tries to keep him and Laureline apart by taking her side and intterupting things…my pet fun theory is that Laureline had been stalking Valerian since high school…

  9. Linneus says:

    My player froze RIGHT at 1:12:08 when Elliot says “I know who I’m gonna hire … I’m gonna need…” and I thought he was just pausing for effect. Then I thought “Man, that’s a REALLY long pause, I’m surprised no one’s said anything.

    …wait a second”

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