Take two faded stars, put them in an Aussie C-picture, and encourage them to improvise wildly, and what do you get? The oddly compelling Drive Hard. Meanwhile Elliott improves various movies by adding a little vitamin C(age), Dan reveals what the H.P. in H.P. Lovecraft stands for, and Stuart almost gets Billy Joel lyrics right.

No show notes on account of SUMMER.

In this episode, Jordan Morris of terrific MaxFun sister podcast stops by to co-host, a move he immediately regretted when we watched Strange Magic. Meanwhile, Dan explains the proper way to drink beer, Stuart evinces his disdain for improv, and Jordan displays his surprisingly deep knowledge of Three Ninjas.

Will the guys who liked Speed Racer also enjoy the Wachowski sibling’s most recent critical flop, Jupiter Ascending? Meanwhile Elliott debuts his new bumper sticker, Dan boringly digresses about The Three Investigators, and Stuart explains why, when incarcerating someone, you should really take their rocket boots.

The iconic punk club is torn down yet again, in movie form.

Hoo boy does Johnny Depp certainly have a mustache in Mortdcai! Meanwhile Dan reads copy off a beer for some reason, Elliott invites George Lucas to stop by, and Stuart recommends a surprising film.

In the words of Homer Simpson, we’ve got a hankerin’ for some spankerin’, as we discuss 50 Shades of Grey. Meanwhile Stuart delivers a eulogy for the rappin’ granny, Elliott explains the laziness of British elocution, Dan reveals a porn tale from his past, and we include perhaps our best outtakes ever.

We’ve seen him 3D, but are we ready for Dracula: Untold? Meanwhile Stuart demonstrates his innovative mixology, and Elliot and Dan reveal the surprising Dracula-centric details of the Mad Men finale.