AI is bad, except maybe it’s not, maybe AI will help you solve the murder of your wife before it executes you for the murder of its wife… wtf is Mercy saying, anyway? Maybe it’s saying if you put your hero in a chair for 100 minutes your movie will feel inert. Especially if Chris Pratt is that hero? Hard to say, but we do our best to untangle one of the silliest flops of the year.

Mister Police, you could have saved us from watching The Snowman. You gave us all the clues. Meanwhile, Elliott takes us behind the scenes at Shrek, Stuart bravely reveals his medical syndrome, and creepo Dan McCoy is a creepy creep.