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In honor of my inability to speak correctly, Flop House superfan Matt put together this fan art depicting an alternate-reality version of the Kevin James security guard vehicle.

Ask not for whom the Paul Blarts. It Blarts for thee. Meanwhile, Brock advances a novel theory about why the mall hijackers use non-lethal force; Dan is baffled by the contortions the screenwriters go through to explain normal, everyday things; and Stuart talks about his ...