Guess which one is Stuart.

We come not to bury Jason Voorhees, but to praise him… or as much as you can praise anyone whose only purpose in life is to machete teens. Meanwhile Dan criticizes one of the victims’ masturbation technique; Elliott gets schooled, Woody Harrelson-style; and Stuart reveals a fondness for womens’ breasts that he has somehow managed […]

Seemingly produced to answer the never-issued challenge, “can Disney make a movie to simultaneously appeal to kids and Paris Hilton?” this week we talk about Beverly Hills Chihuahua. Meanwhile Stuart reveals his commercial catchphrase, Elliott despairs over the sexualization of dogs, and Dan repeats several actionable celebrity slurs. 0:00 – 0:41 – Introduction and theme […]

Elliott lists some terrible remake ideas, while Stu contributes a remake he’d like to see. Press the play button above to listen to this episode. Download it here, or paste https://feeds.simplecast.com/EOAFriME into iTunes (or your favorite podcatching software) to have new episodes delivered to you directly as they’re released.

When America said, “Surely they can’t make a dull movie starring Will Smith,” Hollywood responded, “Oh yeah?” and gave us Seven Pounds of proof. Meanwhile Dan exhibits his terrible taste in painters, Stuart explains how this movie would improve with the addition of Jeff Fahey, and Elliott reveals his sadistic side. 0:00 – 0:31 – […]

America swaps bodies with its younger self, to go back to a time when body-swap movies were popular. Press the play button above to listen to this episode. Download it here, or paste https://feeds.simplecast.com/EOAFriME into iTunes (or your favorite podcatching software) to have new episodes delivered to you directly as they’re released.

What’s the perfect formula for a Christmas blockbuster? Take a character that only comics fans are familiar with, and give it to a first-time director who’s only interested in recapturing the look of his own Sin City. Wait, blockbuster is an alternate spelling for “flop,” right? We discuss The Spirit. Meanwhile we learn that Stuart […]

Sometimes even the best of intentions, combined with a deep and abiding religious faith, can still result in a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad movie. We watch Fireproof. Meanwhile, Elliott reveals why he’s so easily amused, Stuart reminisces about a nacho altercation, and Dan talks like a little girl (intentionally this time). 0:00 – […]