Smalltember concludes with a doozy — Black Easter (previously titled Assassin 33 AD, in a slightly different edit) — the movie that dares ask “What if someone killed Jesus? …But not like, the people who ORIGINALLY killed Jesus. What if they were TIME TRAVELING MUSLIMS?”
America’s foremost hedgehog expert, Jamelle Bouie, returns to usher in Smalltember (vember) 2021, with our discussion of the make-work project for Dean Cain and Tara Reid, Andy the Talking Hedgehog.
If there’s one thing we’ve learned in all our years of discussing bad movies, it’s that vanity projects are often the creme de la creme of bizarre and terrible cinema. And hoo doggies, do we have something special for you. Made in 2006, then shelved for nearly a decade before getting quietly dumped to streaming in 2014, writer/director/star Stuart Paul’s magnum opus, Deadly Lessons, is a fantasy self-help (?) thriller (?) that’s impossible to describe, but lord, do we try.
After a run of guests, we’re celebrating Smalltember with just family. Because at a time like this, family is important, y’know? Almost as important as a movie where Kelsey Grammer menacingly smokes a cigar while telling a professional wrestler to rob a sky casino. That’s right, we talked about Money Plane. You’re welcome.
For the second episode of Smalltember (Smallvember) 2019, we cave to overwhelming demand and discuss Love on a Leash. Meanwhile, Elliott ain’t your daddy’s Crypt Keeper, Dan exhibits his remarkable ability for telling two voices apart, and Stuart isn’t having a breakdown, that really IS the plot of the movie.
Smalltember (Smallvember) begins with a return appearance by the Flop House’s favorite (insomuch as a terrible asshole can be a favorite) Canadian energy drink magnate-turned-filmmaker, Frank D’angelo, and his latest cinematic leavings, The Joke Thief. Meanwhile, Stuart reveals his love for all things Stu, Dan gives a few minor script notes, and Elliott’s Nicholas Cage has snakes on the brain.
We close out Smalltember with one of our “favorite” genres: the ill-conceived, micro-budgeted computer animated film. And Dwegons and Leprechauns is a horrific, fever dream of a doozy. Meanwhile, Dan remains the master of the unintended double entendre, Stuart ponders what “dweg” means, and Elliott insists we kill a Muppet.
For our first Smalltember episode of 2018, we discuss Slamma Jamma, the film about slam dunking your way to Jesus. Meanwhile, Elliott gives us some hat-wearing etiquette, Dan is upset that the characters aren’t criminal masterminds, and Stuart sets everything right by making it clear he’s just kidding.
