He missed March by four days, but hey, there’s nothing in the rulebook that says Elliott can’t lead us in a March Madness showdown to determine which cinematic fantasy land would be best to live in!

“What’s the Bratz of the 2020’s?” we asked ourselves, chasing that ultimate Bratz high. “Could it be Gabby’s Dollhouse: The Movie?” While perhaps not reaching those lofty heights, this was nearly as bonkos as reviews suggested it would be — a psychedelic fantasia filtered through a combination Hello Kitty/candy store. The movie was not meant for us, but we had a fun time talking about it.

Stuart leads a discussion of stand-up comedy in the movies, with the help of our special guest: acclaimed comic and longtime pal, Matt Koff.

On this episode, we discuss ELLA MCCAY, which — based on its poster — is a movie about a woman having trouble with her shoe. Hmn. That can’t be right. Well, whatever it’s about, it’s made by the legendary James L. Brooks, so we can be sure it’ll have a clear plot, strong themes, and a comprehensible emotional throughline!

You probably thought we forgot the hedgehog beat! We were just biding our time. Sometimes slow and steady wins the race, SONIC. We welcome our returning Senior Hedgehog Correspondent, Jamelle Bouie, who absolutely does not have anything more important to do than extend this bit, to discuss Sonic the Hedgehog 3. Why does a movie about a fast hedgehog have this much plot, and why is it all so boilerplate? We get into it.

Elliott takes us on a tour of Best Picture Academy Award winners, filtered into his highly-scientific categories, and then asks us, “But which Best is BEST?”

Yes, we never heard of it either. But trust us when we say that High Rollers (sequel to the equally nonexistent movie Cash Out) makes for a helluva S-tier Flop House episode, especially when it features longtime friend of the show Jordan Morris as our guest. Is Travolta the new Nic Cage? Well, if you’re watching Face/Off, yes, definitely. But in terms of FH movie greatness? Yeah, maybe!

Stuart combed cinematic history for visions of the future, then, like Ebeneezer Scrooge, demanded of his his co-hosts,””Are these the shadows of the things that Will be, or are they shadows of things that May be, only?” (Or, more Stu: “How likely are these predictions, dudes?”)